Wednesday 15 May 2013

29 Years later...and back to square one!

I've been applying for jobs for a few months now and am at a bit of a loss.

It seems even though i worked for a company for 5 years, turned it around form 2 staff to 13 staff and made us the biggest and most successful independent studio in the country, I'm not qualified enough to do even simple admin work.

It's a hard time for anyone right now in the current economic climate and new jobs really are few and far between, but I'm getting to the stage where i am doubting myself and my capability. 

I think of myself as a pretty well rounded professional, with experience in so many different areas i find it hard to narrow down anything i don;t think i could have a go at. But after months of applying and not even being invited for interviews I really have started to wonder what on earth i have been doing with the past 10 years of my life.

Should i have bothered with university? i studied advertising and marketing, never really felt like i learned anything and excelled in modules that i never though i would, like political lobbying and creative writing. Kind of wish i had studied something practical, like plumbing, or how to be a seamstress. I imagine there's not much call for seamstresses these days, but i could make dresses and really where's the downside in that?

College was really the best time of my life. I had hope that i could do anything i wanted to do and be anyone i wanted to be. i was already pretty settled on who i was, identity wise, but the possibility for self improvement was always there and we were always encouraged to explore and experiment.

Sadly now the big bad world decided if you want to study at Uni you have to choose very narrow subject matters that limit what you can do with your career and i really would have appreciated if someone had told me that and i would have made different/better life choices.

This isn't a rant at the world or schools or anything really, just somewhere to let off some steam and frustration at not finding a job as quickly as i thought i would. I've already started a small side project with my Dad's company and maybe that will turn into something wonderful, who knows! I always thought of myself as a positive person with an optimistic outlook, but gee wizz being jobless drags you down!

Well, as my wonderful friend told me, it takes an awful lot of poop to grow the prettiest flowers, so I'll cling to that logic and hope for the best!

Onwards and upwards!!